Dating in circles...........

This week has been a whirl wind of excitement for me. First, I registered for my last 4 classes of school yesterday. Thats right, this time three months from now I will be the proud holder of a B.S. in Biology and Chemistry with my minor in Business. This makes me giddy all over. I have been smiling from ear to ear for two days. Then, I have started a relationship via phone with Chad. I think the last male companion I mentioned was Heath. Needless to say, this little fling ended up being just that. Chad on the other hand may actually have some long term potential. We met via my ex boyfriend, and started talking via another ex boyfriend. For some reason I always end up dating in circles. Chad is a great guy, and this I am sure of. Now the hard part will be getting the sparks going in equal amounts on both ends. No matter what I know Chad and I will have a great time together. He has this sense of humor that keeps me on my toes, and a motorcycle that I am sure will add to the excitement.

Happy Happy Birthday Baby Brother

Today is my little brother's birthday. It seems like just yesterday that I was scareing the shit out of him in our dark hallway, that he was begging me to play ninja turtles with him for the millionth time, and that he was calling his little penis "taggle waggle". The first time I held him I remember being so worried that I might hurt that gross sore on his belly. I still worry about him getting hurt, but now in different ways. I can't remeber a time that I was not trying to protect him from something. I think Eric Webb from Bethlehem elementary school is still traumatized from me grabbing him from behind by the collar of his shirt and threatening to rip every limb from his body with my bare hands if he took one more step in his attempt to chase my brother around the playground. The hardest thing about being Jeremy's big sister today is that I can't protect him anymore. The best thing about it is that I know he does a damn good job himself. Jeremy carries this hard shell on the outside, but it's the goodness that he carries within that makes him who he is. I am proud of him for so many reasons but most of all for not being afraid to be himself. You have the world at your finger tips little man. Embrace it. Happy Twenty Second Birthday little brother of mine. I love you.

Things I will never do

I just got finished reading a couple of pages of a book I came across entitled Stiff. The book is about human cadavors and how each part is used in studies. I actually found it very interesting. This made me wonder about all the things in this world that I will never have knowledge about. Okay.....I know health insurance, I am good with biology and chemistry (my major) , I am good at being a mom, I know about love and heartbreak, I can cook, I am fairly fashionable, etc etc. However, there are so many things in my lifetime that I will never get a chance to see, or learn, or do. or understand. For instance, I will never perform brain surgery, sing in the opera, live in Alaska, understand how the telephone, television, or radio actually works, and so on. I mean seriously I was born in mississippi and I will probably die in mississippi. To be honest, what I would love to do more than anything is travel to 3rd world countries to offer my services with hungry, helpless, starving people. No joke!! I here about people who just up and leave staying over seas for months at a time and wonder how do you just leave your life and responsibilities behind. Anyway........just thoughts in my head.

I decided to watch You've Got Mail last night AGAIN after conquering the unending challenge of getting Thomas to sleep. I love Meg Ryan and Tom Hanks in this movie. The filmakers made everthing about the scenery and life of New York just beautiful, and the only thing holding me back from relaxing quite time with that warm cozy romanitc comedy feeling was a wild, chocolate milk high, batman suit wearing, little rugrat. It was about 9:30pm, and I had just dragged him to bed kicking and screaming, none-the-less. We were doing our regular routine of the three little pigs, the princess and dragon, and discussing politics when he finally dozed off. I headed straight for the kitchen, made myself my own tall glass of chocolate milk (its addictive) and settled in to watch Tom persuade Meg that he is the man for her. After it was over and I had soaked a couple tissues with Meg's proclomation of "I hoped it would be you" I started thinking about how many of these types of movies I watch on a regular basis. I think romantic comedies and love stories have forever changed my dating life. I can't have a relationship because my expectations have been set by hollywood standards. I am sorry girls, but guys do not do those things in real life. At least I hope they don't, because if they do, that just means they don't do those things for me. Oh God please let a Tom Hanks walk in this door right now! Now see if this were the movies, the man of my dreams would have walked in.

Weekend Delight.......

Thomas spent the weekend with his dad, so I took complete advantage of alone time. If you guys have never seen Diary of a Mad Black Woman let me recommend it highly. I laughed whole heartedly and cried full throttle throughout the entire movie. Anyone who finds humor in real life situations, or anyone who has been completely heart broken can definitely relate. Needless to say, I got a rude awakening and have decided to live life on a different level. Not all as a result of this movie, but as a result of several things that are going on with me right now. I have taken up reading as a free time hobby. Reading has always been a past time, but now it seems to be a routine that I partake in on a daily basis. It lets me getaway from regular life and live the lives of the characters in my book for short periods of time. Last night I was reading Light in August by William Faulkner while lying in bed with Thomas to get him to sleep. It was so peaceful.......him laying in my lap, feeling the motions of his little chest moving up and down as he falls into that deep sleep, my mind taking me back in time to life with mules plowing fields and dirt roads as far as the eye can see. Spending an enormous amount of time alone can change the way one thinks. Aside from crying over one of the best movies I have yet to see, and escaping in a world of pages and words, I also spent some time with Heath this weekend. I have decided to limit myself to only Heath as far as male company goes for the time being. This is not saying we are in a relationship because we are not. This is just my way of slowing things down and guarding myself a little more. I find Heath attractive in so many ways. He has this sexiness about him that I have not figured out yet. I don't have the desire to spend lots of time with him, but the time we do share together I thoroughly enjoy. Tonight we are going to a movie, and I am looking forward to it. I guess what I am trying to say in this post is that the changes in my life are going to be how I spend my time hiding. Seeing a different guy or going out with different friends to hide from myself from the world is no longer going to be the way I do things. I am going to spend my time more constructive.......wish me luck.

Trip to Wal-Mart

Monday..........don't we all hate mondays. I kinda feel like I am in slow motion. Hopefully after lunch things will get going.

My weekend was more relaxing than anything. I read a lot and bought three new novels all by William Faulkner that I am excited about reading. Last night I went to Heath's house. He is this guy that I have been casually seeing. I don't really see this one going beyond casual, then again I never saw myself posting blogs either. My mother and I had a nice talk yesterday. Between the compulsive obsessive fits that she was throwing while noticing unorganized choas in my room. It really is strange how we are so different. I am comfortable in my room laying on my bed, covers wrapped up in tangles, shoes and clothes on the floor, and magazines and books thrown around on the nightstand. However my mother can't breath when her shoes are not perfectly aligned. Thomas has been at his dad's all weekend, and I am ready to see him. I bought him some spiderman underwear yesterday with a cute little storybook. I have learned my lesson about taking him with me when I want to get him something. A trip to wal-mart with my three year old always turns about to be a hellish experience with me picking my hair out of the floor after having pulled most of it out, Thomas throwing more things in the basket as I pull them out, the sound of his loud cries ringing all the way from the grocery side to the mechanics side, and me finally throwing my hands up, grabbing Thomas, and heading out the door empty handed and exhausted.