4 going on 40

My 4 year old never ceases to amaze me. He has made his way from toddler to little boy, and this step is exciting and a little depressing for me all at the same time. I still find myself wanting to tote him on my hip from room to room just to be reminded that "I am not a baby momma." I always say "I know you are not a baby Thomas, but you will always be Momma's baby." He doesn't seem to appreciate this any more than he did when he was 2.

Friday was a long stressful day for me. School, work, and allergic reactions (that is another post) were really getting to me, and all I felt like doing was throwing myself onto the bed in a fetal position and crying until sleep took me over. Friday night I finally finished with the mommy routine of taking baths, eating supper, playing spiderman, and dodging flying legos, when I got a chance to curl up under my covers. After about 15 minutes of daydreaming about how much better and easier life will be in 6 months or so and holding back tears, Thomas made his way to the bedroom and laid his little head on the pillow next to mine. He never said anything just looked in my eyes and stroked my hair. All of a sudden some nurturing instincts that he possessed suddenly made him kiss me all over my face. I got one soft kiss on my nose, then cheeks, then chin. I could no longer hold back the tears, and they began trailing down my face. I have never seen a look of peace and understanding in anyone like I saw in Thomas' eyes at that moment. Without saying a word, he took one little index finger and wiped the tears from my face. I was astonished and completely overwhelmed with my love for this wonderful child of mine, and just like that we closed our eyes and went to sleep.